JP III review

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  • Andrew Pratt
    Moderator Emeritus
    • Aug 2000
    • 16507

    JP III review

    I found this review on the canoe site and thought I'd paste it. I'm not surprised by any of the reviews on JPIII but I'll still see it anyway. I guess I'm a sucker for dino's

    As kooky as it may sound there is a strange symmetry between the "Jurassic Park" and the "Jaws" series of movies. Besides the obvious 'monsters-go-stalking-humans' theme and the influence of Steven Spielberg, they each now share one of the most moronic plot points in movie history.

    If you recall, in "Jaws: The Revenge" Chief Brody's wife (Lorraine Gary) moves away from her hometown of Amity. The shark that gobbled up her loved ones is so darn clever and so pissed off it actually follows her from Maine all the way to the Caribbean to finish the job it started. Similarly in "Jurassic Park III", a pack of Raptors stalks a band of visiting humans across an entire island. Why? Because...get this...they unintentionally stole some of their eggs. Groan.

    In both cases, Spielberg has been smart enough to get out while the gettin' is good. He ain't dumb. On "Jurassic Park III", Spielberg has relegated himself to the role of executive producer thereby washing his hands of the mess that director Joe Johnston ("Honey, I Shrunk The Kids", "Jumanji", "The Rocketeer") and the film's merry band of screenwriters have managed to make. And what a complete and utter mess it is too. Not even the caretakers who clean up after Jurassic Park's biggest dinos can tidy this one up. No way. No how.

    Doing his rendition of Indiana Jones minus the wit or charm, Sam Neill returns as the crotchety world-renown paleontologist Dr. Alan Grant. Eight years after escaping from the fiasco that was InGen's doomed dino theme park, Grant is suffering from the fallout. Genetically engineered dinosaurs running amok, crumbling cities and feasting on humans has scared off potential investors. Desperate to keep his digs going -- and for the film's producers to find any feeble excuse to get him back to being chased by bloodthirsty beasts -- Grant is coerced into helping a couple (William H. Macy and Tea Leoni) find their son who has been conveniently stranded on Isla Sorna, another InGen monster factory.

    That's about all the storyline "Jurassic Park III" has. You could probably fit it on the back of a business card with room to spare. Why it took three writers to pen the plot is mystery not even Scotland Yard would be able to solve. As a matter of fact, it is not a plot at all but a string of ineffective and unbelievable coincidences that separate the recycled dino attacks that have been staged with more ingenuity in the two previous installments and still aren't suitable for younger movie-goers. If the attacks were thrilling they could make up for the plot's disappearing act but they aren't and they don't. The film is a series of unremarkable chase scenes through the jungle with a stop at an obligatory laboratory and a Pteranodon breeding area.

    There is nothing in "Jurassic Park III" that parallels the harrowing motorhome-research facility scene in "Lost World". The swarming by the Pteranodons is the closest that comes to it and still you have to slog through so many predictable skirmishes that it hardly seems worth it in the end.

    While were on the subject of endings...what the heck was that? Bing. Bang. Boom. It's over? What? Did they run out of money and had to immediately finish filming? That's what it looks like. Just as things get rocking, the plug is pulled with a conclusion that is so incredibly stupid it sets a new world record for a leap in logic.

    That's what "Jurassic Park III" is though, stupid to its very core. Raptors chat with each other and are said to be smarter than humans. A dinosaur swallows a satellite phone that is still functional after the dino relieves itself. A garbled phone call that contains no valuable information whatsoever leads to a pivotal rescue. Characters correctly guessing each other's actions as if they were telepathic. The prized T-Rex replaced by duck-billed Spinosaurus (Craposaurus). No input from author Michael Crichton. The list of absurdities goes on and on. This type of comical nonsense that you might find in a direct-to-video release has no business being on the Big Screen. It belongs in the half-price bin or on television.

    The first "Jurassic Park" wowed us with its technical innovations. Eight years later, the innovations Spielberg and his ingenious crew manufactured are commonplace. They aren't enough to hinge an entire film. If the uninspired "Jurassic Park III" is a sign of things to come, the series would be better off becoming as extinct as the prehistoric creatures it amazingly brought to life for us.




  • KennyG
    Moderator Emeritus
    • Sep 2000
    • 745

    #2
    Ouch!!!
    I too am going to see this at the theater.
    I've read one reviewer that actually liked it. He said it wasn't as good as the first, but was much better than the second...we'll see.

    Comment

    • George Bellefontaine
      Moderator Emeritus
      • Jan 2001
      • 7637

      #3
      I'm a sucker for dinos,too. But I'll wait for the dvd.




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      Comment

      • Patrick Sun
        Super Senior Member
        • Aug 2000
        • 1380

        #4
        JP3 = Big Universal roller coaster ride. If you didn't go into this film with this mindset, you are bound to come away disappointed.

        For what it was: a return to the other island where dinosaurs roam, humans are placed in the realm of dinosaurs without much in terms of weapons and protection.

        Was there time for in depth characterizations? Not in this environment. Think about it: you're stuck on a dinosaur-laden island with a few people, are you going to spend your time sitting by the camp fire revealing your innermost deep, dark secrets that supposedly add flavor/dimension to your character? This is not that kind of movie! You're basically in survivor-mode if you are on this island, and this film captures much of the terror of being on the island as the characters work towards getting towards the oceana and away from the dinosaurs. I will say that I was okay with the little bit of the cliched dialog from the characters played by William H. Macy and Tea Leoni because it's very common for couples who have split to still find common ground in times of crisis to lend support to one another. I think kids will identify with what it would feel like to be lost on the island and having parents courageous enough to come to the island to find him.

        One cogent complaint is due mainly to the lack of multi-layered suspense of the original film, and I can accept that, but let's face it: this film (being PG-13) is aimed at kids, and merchandising. The introduction of the new dinosaurs means more loot for the producers. That's just part of film and production realities (got to recoup the investment somehow).

        And to be completely honest about it, yes, JP 3 was "Barney-fied". In that respect, it's made to be more accessible and keep the attention of the younger audience which it was aimed towards. On that level, it succeeds. I overheard a parent ask his boy what he thought of JP3, and the boy squealed, "that was the bestest movie, dad!" For all its deficiencies, if it can spur the curiousity of the younger children, it was a worthwhile film for them to see.

        Now, is JP3 for you? Just try to keep an relaxed and open mind for the product (roller coaster ride) you will going to see, and I think you'll have a better time with the film then those who wanted "something more" for their time/money.
        Take it as a visceral film-viewing experience. You won't have much to chew on after you leave the theater, but for the 90+ minutes, you'll leave your safe, comfortable life, and enter a world where dinosaurs walk the earth, and they don't care if you're in the way.

        Grade: B




        PatCave; HT Pix;Gear;DIY Projects;DVDs; LDs
        PatCave; HT Pix;Gear;DIY Projects;DVDs; LDs

        Comment

        • KennyG
          Moderator Emeritus
          • Sep 2000
          • 745

          #5
          It was alright, I'm not sure it was any better than the second one. It was entertaining enough, but I wish they'd get over these sappy hollywood endings...as Patrick says, it's for the kids I supppose.
          It's worth a matinee price, but no more.

          COME ON PLANET OF THE APES!!!

          Comment

          • Robbie
            Senior Member
            • Aug 2000
            • 256

            #6
            I'm with George on this one. I'll wait for the DVD

            Robbie

            Comment

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